A Letter To All My Sisters

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Don’t look to anyone for validation. Choose yourself, don’t wait for anyone to choose you. Accept yourself, don’t wait for anyone to accept you.

People’s opinions are only as valuable as you make them. What you say about yourself is what is most important. How God sees you is most important. Many people don’t understand your value the way they should, some might, and some will come with agendas. It’s your job to treat yourself like the queen you are, no one else’s. They can follow suit if they wish, but don’t completely put the responsibility in their own hands.

Concentrate on yourself, invest in yourself. There are some things that you can do for yourself that no one else can do, yet we rely on people to do it for us. This lands us in a dangerous place of vulnerability; and in the wrong hands we can be manipulated, misused, and taken advantage of. Some of us continue to put up with it because we don’t think we’ll find anyone else.

We as women need attention, love, appreciation, cherishing… But we tend to look for it in the wrong places and expect it from the wrong people. I tell you this, if you love yourself more than anything first, you automatically raise your standards of what you will tolerate. Rejection and abandoment do not strike fear into your heart or bear any blows. As cliché as it sounds, it really all does start from within. It’s progressive and can’t necessarily be done overnight, but when achieved, it is nowhere near easy for another to hurt you. It then does not become easy for one to question their worth when another rejects them. Self attained worth and validation acts as an anchor. You cannot be moved if you stand firm in belief of yourself.

I wish I could speak to every woman, I wish I could help every woman. But for now, I’ll do what I can. Continue to walk in the aura of majesty. Light and love.

@Queen_Pris.

Black Woman, Let Me Tell You

Let me tell you that you are more beautiful than what society says.

Let me tell you that you are more valuable than what society wants you to realise.

Do not think that all hope is lost and all doors are closed because of the melanin you possess.

You have unlimited power, unlimited intelligence and unlimited beauty.

Let me tell you about how your skin glistens in the sun. Let me tell you about how the sky needs you to feel purpose. Let me tell you about how the stars need you for guidance, and let me indeed tell you that the earth needs your aura to survive.

Banish those who don’t see it, expel those who don’t value you and ignore those who choose not to see you.

You don’t need anyone’s approval or validation. You were validated long before conception, and you are great regardless of who thinks they have permission over you.

Walk in authority, speak with power, and move with grace. Dump the masks that society gave you to wear. Burn the disguises that society says make you more acceptable. You aren’t to be altered, and you damned well don’t need to make insecure people feel better.

Let me tell you that I see you and I appreciate you.

@Queen_Pris

The Struggle Of Being a Black Woman in 2014

I may not be speaking for everyone, but I’m sure many other black women and even others have the same obstacles in life. Either no one will care about what I have to say or everyone might care. Regardless, there must be someone out there who will be touched by my words.

I am expected to be fearless, perfect, confident, and constantly happy when society tries to make out like I don’t exist unless I am depicting a degrading stereotype. Regardless of talent, intellect, and boldness, it is hard to obtain the rightful jobs that I deserve, yet another person with insufficient credentials can get the same job. I’m expected to look a certain way, adhere to a European standard of beauty; and if I’m happy looking just the way I do there must be something wrong with me. Fellow black people jeer at you, asking when you’ll join in with the self hate. No thanks. At a certain age, if you aren’t married or with child, there must also be something wrong with you. You are compared with your mother’s friend’s daughters and anyone else that seems to be more ‘better off’ than you. Since barriers to success for the black woman are kept so high, you are expected to have a ’9 to 5′, and wanting anything else is just absurd and a waste of time. Instead of being asked why you’re avoiding a desk job laced with racial politics and the imposition of ignorant ideologies, you are scrutinised for doing so. If your life choices do not meet the ‘house negro’ standard then you become almost an embarrassment. 

Regardless of your age (now this depends on your family’s culture) you are expected to be in the house at all times and guilt tripped or interrogated for even innocently going out with friends. You’re told that you won’t find a husband in the house yet going out is such a sinister act. You are expected to dress a certain type of way and if you go beyond it you are made to feel promiscuous, even if such a trait doesn’t exist in your energy.

Men are constantly seeing you as sexual objects and projecting their self hatred and insecurities on you. They make you feel like you’re the problem, or you’re ‘crazy’ for wanting to be treated better. They don’t treat you like you are worthy of true love because they don’t know what it is. You’re never really made to feel beautiful, only sexy, because that’s all society has taught us to be used for. Centuries and centuries of the sexualisation of the black woman hasn’t expired because it continues to be spurred on and some of us don’t help it, we encourage it too. Even for the sake of money and fame, which never lasts.

There are the black women that have never been mistreated and are seen as queens. Good for you. However, many are lacking the self esteem since they aren’t seen as queens anymore. Injustice of all kinds are done against us and nothing is being done and we are being expected to be silent. So many of us, including myself, are suffering in silence whilst this Kryptonian standard is being put upon us. We can’t be hurt, we’re meant to carry a whole family on our backs, be the mother and the father, accept abuse as normality because we feel like no one else will want us or treat us better. It’s a saddening mentality, yet the reality for many of us. Think of how our collective psyche is damaged when our own fathers refuse to be active participants in our lives? Then to go on to have patriarchally conditioned men mistreat us from toddler to the casket? Where’s our defence system? Who will right wrongs done against us? Should we not speak up and refuse to accept this generational cancer?

Yes, there will be some people that read this and think: ‘Oh, great, another angry black woman.’ You’re damn right I’m angry.  Angry and fed up that my sisters aren’t all operating on the level they should be. Every black woman is as majestic as Lupita, it’s not just her. I wish we could all remember that instead of comparing each other, competing with each other, and selling each other out to the enemy.

I wish that one day I can sit down, look at my life and say I’ve got all the help I need, people who understand me, and people who are willing to be down for my cause as long as I am. Too many of us aren’t down for each other and look for help elsewhere that won’t really benefit us like it should.

I’m tired of being made to feel like I’m invisible, not beautiful enough, not desirable enough, ‘intimidating’, and every other piece of nonsense that the ignorant of society have put in place. We should talk to each other and say: I see you sis’, and I appreciate you. We shouldn’t wait for anyone else other than us otherwise we’ll be waiting a long time and being hit with: ‘There’s nothing I can do to help you’.

The struggles of life as a black woman can be intense, but we don’t have to go through it alone.

@Queen_Pris

Abandonment (Part 2)

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How did he find meshe thought as she panicked.

A bald headed white man, aggressively came out of his black Lincoln, slamming the door with fervour. He was tall, athletic, and able to cause life threatening damage. He had a horrible scar spanning from the top of his eyebrow to the bottom of his right cheek. He snarled at the thought of having to pursue the one woman that managed to escape his deathly grasp. He started to run, Miranda caught a glimpse of him, turned around and managed to jump over a rusty trash can. She had to get away. She manoeuvred her way down the sparsely populated streets, zig zagged through the market stalls, and ran across the bridge near a park. She was hoping to lose him, she would rather die than be in his incarceration. She then ran over a second bridge. I’d rather jump off a bridge than be caught by that idiot, she thought with an overwhelming sense of survival. She looked back, he was catching up. He seemed not to be running out of breath. She always knew he wasn’t human. Miranda decided to waste no time. With agility, she quickly jumped onto the ledge of the bridge and made that life or death decision. She took in a deep breath–and jumped…

@Queen_Pris

Black Women Are Not Seen As Women

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Some things need to be exposed, spoken of, and not tolerated any longer. As well as talking from experience, I will share the problems that our black women face when it comes to treatment from the men of the world. I wonder if we are even safe as a people.

Tom Burrel, author of ‘Brainwashed’, speaks of how black men and women have had negative images attached to them during times of slavery. These images were used as propaganda, weapons, and even justification of the barbaric act of slavery. These images were also overly sexualised and have changed very little over the centuries. One being an image of black women having an insatiable sexual appetite, no emotions, happy to share their bodies for material or social gain. As there may be women all over the world who are like this, it does not mean that all my black sisters are this way.

Judging from observation and from the treatment I’ve received myself (regardless of consistently presenting myself as an upstanding, intelligent, and confident woman), we are treated as if sex is all we black women want and are happy about it. We are treated as if we don’t deserve nor require a healthy relationship, but that of abuse, exploitation and constant degradation. We are seen as promiscuous and animalised by all races of men. Think about it. When there is mention of black women, a man’s mind will surely jump to the sexual regardless of our collective intelligence and achievement as a people.

Another troubling thing that I have noticed is that we are seen as how a fox sees defenseless chickens in a barn. Vulnerable and without protection. When a man learns that there is no strong male figure in a black woman’s life, this makes him feel extra fearless and confident in his intentions of mistreatment towards her. In his mind, nothing can happen to him, there is no penalty, and who can even hurt him? For example, wouldn’t criminals feel much more safe to commit crime in a country where there is no police or some type of law enforcement rather than one where there is? This is his mentality when he finds out that there is no man to protect the woman. Not that every woman needs protecting, but in a man’s psyche, that’s what keeps him in check–the risk factor. Generally, our men do not protect their women and leave them exposed for slaughter. At first, during slavery, they had no choice. Slave masters separated black men from the black women so they couldn’t protect them even if they wanted to. They were emasculated and faced death if they tried. This sent a deadly reverberation throughout the generations that evolved into black men not knowing how to protect or defend their women. They even ended up hurting their own women. The collective black male psyche is so far damaged in terms of what is expected of being a man that they don’t realise that they are taking their cues from their oppressor and doing exactly what it is that is crushing us as a people.

I remember a quote that goes (and I paraphrase): ‘If you want to know the state of a people, look at how they treat their women’. Well, we can look at ourselves as a people and it speaks for itself. Our music videos, songs, other media, and reality TV shows say it all. We don’t see the problem and if we do, we don’t actively and collectively do anything about it. There is a powerful question that does remain: If we generally cannot rely on black men to protect black women, who can we rely on? Ourselves, perhaps? Such a big task can’t be done alone, when all factors are considered.

I used to think that a white man would treat me better, that a white man would appreciate me and respect me more. In some ways, this was true, but not necessarily an absolute. As one that is for interracial dating, to see another race as the ‘better or safer option’ might not always be the case. Even though we do hurt each other as a people, it does not mean you don’t have enemies outside your race. In terms of white men in particular, how they were brought up to see black women probably was not the most positive. Some reject such ideology, some cleave unto it, even if they exclusively date black women. It isn’t about the race, but more the person’s perception of black people and indeed themselves. A man could believe that black women are queens and should be treated as such, or he could believe that black women are promiscuous and subservient and should also be treated as such. Any type of man could have these beliefs, the colour they are does not make them exempt. Many men have a skewed misconception of themselves also, and they project this on the treatment on women because they cannot take it out on themselves. All very tragic and quite worrying.

My message to black women is to be careful with the men out there. Many are like unto wolves in sheep’s clothing, and few have good hearts. Do not ignore the signs and do not display yourselves as vulnerable. The wrong type of man will play on that to get his way. If you don’t have any strong, male figures in your life, don’t tell him straight away. Men are profilers, and they categorise women almost instantly as to how they will treat them. Just be ten steps ahead. Be careful with what you share, some use it as access points on how to manipulate and mistreat you. It’s all too common.

I am not a hater of men, I love them dearly. I have just learned over the years how destructive they can be when their world and self perception has been manipulated negatively and there is no accountability.

@Queen_Pris

Abandonment (Part 1)

Miranda shivered yet again on the cold, concrete floor and rubbed her arms in hopes of gaining some warmth. Abandonment, sadness, and worthlessness built up in her heart. She fought to choke down the tears that were fighting to break through. She was on the street. Many walkers by, not one concern. She rubbed her dirty face, whilst noticing a man on the other side of the street. He was caressing the face of his girlfriend. He then went on to pick her up and swing her around. An aura of love surrounded the lovebirds. Miranda couldn’t help but stare. Love. It was so foreign to her. Rarely shown, rarely expressed, rarely explained. Love may have well been quantum physics to her. Her stomach collapsed on itself after days of hunger.

This was her life, this was her future. To be forgotten, overlooked, disregarded. No one cared if she were dead or alive. She began to wonder why she cared about being alive. An upper class man with a briefcase glanced at her, wincing his mouth in disgust and picked up his pace. A toddler walked past, staring her dead in the eye as if to wonder what on earth she was. He looked at her as if she were a scary phenomenon. Miranda got used to these looks. She adjusted her damp blanket up to her neck. This was her reality. She had to deal with it.

A car pulled up, she recognised the man driving. Her stomach dropped.

‘Not him again…’ she gulped.

She rose to run for her life…

@Queen_Pris

Black Singers: What’s the point of the music industry??

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This is something that I must and need to get off my chest. Being a singer myself, I’ve seen and experienced enough to understand that the music industry is a disgusting place. I also think that if it could be done, it should be abolished altogether and people should just be independent and have freedom to do what they want, and have the public decide.

One of the main things that bothers me about the music industry is the diminishing or near enough nonexistent positive black female presence. It’s wrought with unstable people crumbling before our eyes and them trying to make it look cool. I most definitely believe that there is an agenda within the music industry. Black women do not get the push that they deserve. They are much more happy to market people of a lighter complexion and leave the black women in the background. We all know where the talent is, yet there are none getting mainstream rotation. In the UK, I cannot think of any black female singers, even male singers getting the push that their talent deserves. The most disrespectful and annoying thing I’ve realised is that talented black people (especially women) are faced with the response of: ‘so what? What’s new?’ concerning their skills. That is absolutely unfair. Why should we be stereotyped for being good singers and be cut off from opportunities just because we are where the talent is at? They are happy to show a white girl that can sing (stereotypically like a black woman), but a black girl that can sing is just old news. Bullcrap.  Utter nonsense.

I believe the stupid marketers don’t want the world to see how easy it is for us to be gifted as a people. I think they are trying to erase that from everyone’s memory. The only black people they like to promote are the ones who promote a broken and dishevelled culture, and are shameless about it. This is what I find sad. The fact that some people throw their morals away and disregard the impact of the perception of their own people–just because someone waved a dollar in their face is appalling. Black people are not seen as individuals, people generally use one to judge all; and the music industry rides that all the way home.

Go to a church, a school, a university, talent is there. Talented black female singers exist everywhere, yet no one wants to promote them? What the hell? Taking into account that the aim now is for a global frenzy, and this is more likely with a white or biracial act. Well why don’t you just promote a black person just for us then?? Not everything is about pleasing the discriminative masses. There are black owned record companies out there… So what are they doing? We don’t need any soul singer wannabes, we need the originators. I believe the next Stevie or Michael is out there, but he or she is being blocked. This is because they don’t want their precious acts to be outdone. This I have experienced myself: being approached by artists and them being uncomfortable with my act because I could outshine them and they let me loose. I feel like they only want the white acts to shine and no one else. There are no more empowering positive black women in the music industry, and they are being blocked intentionally.

What really can be done? Is it a waste of time to speak up? I personally think that people need to stop relying on these brainwashing record companies and dreaming of signing their life away with a record deal. Making a deal with the devil isn’t worth it. People should seek to build an empire with their own hands instead of hoping to gain entry into another’s temporarily. A record deal isn’t the only way forward. I think more and more people should try and be independent–however difficult. It’s worth not having evil hands pulling the strings. With the power of social media, you can make your own empire quite easily. Many have done it and many can still do it. People need to deprogram their minds from thinking that the very people who seek to exploit them are the ones who want to help them.

@Queen_Pris

Declaration of my worth.

I demand a lot, I deserve a lot.

I want to be respected, greeted with a smile. I want to be highly revered and to receive the highest etiquette. Is that a crime?

I want to be sought after, pursued. People going out of their way to appreciate the good I choose to give them on a daily basis. Is this something I should beg for? The way you respect yourself is the way should be treated in return, or no? It’s a tragedy to be around people who don’t understand, or are threatened by your quality of character.

It is indeed the truth that someone who values themselves has no problem with other people of value. For people to intentionally treat a person like they’re like everyone else when you can clearly see that they’re unique is by far one of the most malicious acts there are. This must be how a lot of people forget their worth.

I want to be asked out to dinner, the theatre, lovely events. That isn’t asking a lot. I want to be able to trust and rely on my friends. This indeed isn’t a Narnian request. A gift from here to there wouldn’t hurt either. No, I won’t call you all the time, I won’t make all the advances, and I do NOT chase.

Circumstances like these try to make you forget what you deserve. I say, demand what you deserve. It doesn’t have to be outright, but in your self confidence. It does all the explaining that you need. People who don’t believe in your worth will do everything to make you think you have none. Yes I DO have worth, and it DOESN’T rely on your perception of me. All this ‘stuck up’  nonsense gets on my darn nerves too. If a person doesn’t value themselves you have something to say, and when they do, you STILL have something to say. Some people need to remind themselves that they’re not as relevant as they think. Self respect and self worth will always be an important component of my life, and it does not belong to anyone else. No one of worth would make you feel guilty for recognising your worth. Just think about it.

@Queen_Pris

My Letter To Pablo Alborán

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Dear Pablo,

Finally, after all this time, I have chosen to write this letter to you. Not as a crazed fan, but as an appreciator. You may never read this, maybe you may never even know about this letter, but I felt that it was time to say what was really on my heart.

First of all, I wanted to say that I am very proud of your success. I am not without doubt nor surprise that you would become as successful as you did. The world always needed someone like you, I personally feel the world was waiting for someone like you. We all thank God for your arrival, never change. Never let too many people have a say over the person that you are, and the person that you will become. Always stay true to your heart and don’t ever let your message change. Put authenticity first, and never get too carried away with fame and popularity. I know my opinion may not count for much, but it is never wrong to speak from the heart.

Be careful of bad influences, so many people who have gone down your path have risen and fallen. We don’t want to lose you. Whitney, Michael, Amy, Camarón and many precious others all lost to this game. I pray you will never be a victim. You have many people who support you and love you, and they will never let you stray away from the path.

I will never forget the first time I discovered you, the way you awoke my spirit, and most importantly the way you inspired me. I felt like I found long lost treasure! Don’t lose that, Pablo. Stay grounded, hang on to humility for dear life. I know you will do it. It’s been a long time since we met in Sevilla for the first time in 2011–that was a great day. It would be wonderful to see you again. The next time, I would genuinely like to be able to sit down with you and talk to you the way I am writing this letter. With no interferences and no interruptions. But hey, a girl can dream, right? Hehe.

I thoroughly enjoyed the YouTube videos that I made for you, each with the intention of showing my appreciation. I believe that once you find someone that’s one of a kind, you should show your appreciation as much as you can. You don’t know how long each person has left on this earth. Hopefully, you saw it that way too. I’m eternally grateful that you found them and appreciated them also. I was very lucky.

I have been praying for you as well, almost as if you are family. For God to keep you safe from harm, to lead you down the right path and to make you happy. It’s good to see that God has answered my prayers. Stay blessed and continue to be great. Maybe we will cross paths again. Until then, continue to smile and make others smile.

Priscilla.

(@Queen_Pris)

I Have To Let You Go

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I’m sorry, but I have to let you go. I’m not a priority in your life. You have become compromised, distracted, and changed. You let them change your spirit. You let them turn you into something you’re not. You hurt me deeply in the process, but I kept quiet.

There’s so much I could have said, there’s so much I could have done. To hurt you back.

But instead, I chose to let you go.

I keep fighting with the faith of you hopefully changing one day, of you hopefully fighting for me. But each day goes by, and I become a little bit more irrelevant to you and I feel a little bit more abandoned. This is not how life is supposed to be. It also isn’t something one should tolerate.

Where does this tenacious spirit of mine come from? The one that always feels like there’s something that I can do?? Was it even my fault to begin with? I wasn’t the problem, so I sure as heck don’t need to be looking for the solution.

You let diamonds and rubies fall out of your hand. You let water slide from your soil and into the sea instead. You caused the sun to turn it’s face from you. You have caused God to look at you with disappointment. I hope you’re happy with the temporary things that you gained in return.

You broke a good heart, you knew it, you know it. Yet you stayed away like a coward.

Rest assured, karma is real.

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